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Don’t Marry Her Yet…ASK THIS QUESTION FIRST!

So you love her…..RIGHT?!

Ok so you love her. Or, you think you do. I get it. In fact, I’ve been there.

Those are only feelings –  viable feelings, but  only feelings. Feelings can get us in trouble, emotional trouble. They do mean something, and your feelings should be respected.

After you get out of the “feelings” stage, and you feel like the relationship is going somewhere, somewhere good!

You start to ask questions. (And look up blog posts on the topic, right?!)

Questions that might pop in your head….

  1. Is she THE ONE?
  2. She’s not like “the others“. Well what does that mean?
  3. I’m going to grab some food….should I call her and she if she wants anything? (You’ve been doing that everyday for the past 3 months!)
What will she do?

What will she do?

The Outsiders begin to ask….

  1. Where is your other half?
  2. Wow! You guys have been together that long?
  3. When are we going to get an ‘invitation’ for the ‘big day’?
  4. When are you guys going to settle down?

The question?!

You have to ask yourself 1 thing.

Women were created, designed, set-up…..(whatever) to be givers, toward those they love. Sometimes even those they do not love. Most women have an unbridled amount of compassion, and enough emotion to go around. This is why they are the best criers at movies. Well at least the ones I know….They cry better than me!

Women are the best support systems for their peers. They find best excuses to have a girls night out, spa day or something to help friend when she’s down.

When most women think about a baby shower, or wedding is very, very emotional to her. That’s good! At least, I think it is!

Women usually give of themselves freely and openly. This is what makes them attractive to us as a mate.

We consider their nature of giving and warm disposition as motherly.

Motherly – Let’s be honest. Most men’s first, longest, and most intimate interactions with a woman, was with their dearest mother! So to an extent, you think that the woman you are with, and are considering marrying, will one day do what your mother did for you, for your children. You may not do this intentionally, or consciously, but you will do it. Hey, I don’t make the rules. I’m just pointing it out. Some of you might call my perspective chauvinistic, sexist, too traditional or whatever. I’m ok with that. If you like this article….

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THE QUESTION YOU MUST ASK……

Will she give me her kidney?

Ok, I get this may sound a bit gross, or morbid, but there’s a hidden meaning here.

A woman will usually put others first right?! Even if it’s not in her best interest, right?! So if that’s true, find the answer to this question! WHATEVER answer you come up with ask yourself….How do you feel about that?

Example:

The woman I’ve been dating will most certainly give me her kidney, lung, she’d probably even give me her heart! Literally – HER HEART! That’s pretty deep. A very big deal. Does that make you feel closer to her? Does that make her seem even more special to you?

Or

Does that make you uncomfortable? Remember, this is just a figurative thing. Do you want her to be more selfish and insist that she do all she can to stay here for the figurative little crumb snatching kids you’ll one day have?

Whatever your feelings, you’ve got to ask the question. BUT YOU CANNOT ASK HER FIRST. Figure it out on your own. You have to step back and take an objective look at your relationship and the woman you are with. She might be just what you were looking for, or definitely NOT what you want in your life as a partner long-term. Heavy……but marriage is a big deal right?

Why a Kidney? Why not a Lung?

Giving an organ is a huge step! A big deal!

It means you must have surgery. The surgery could be life-threatening, to both of you. You don’t owe each other your lives, do you?! After all, you are considering making your lives one, right?! Putting each others needs in-front of your own, is the step you think you want to take. If you think that the “natural” thing that you think a woman is designed to do, she won’t…..How do you feel about that? Reasonably. You can ask these questions out loud, in the shower, or keep it in your head. But, you’d better ask.

Do this privately.

If people were to find out that you based your decision to get married on your girlfriends fondness of allowing you to HARVEST HER ORGANS at will!!!!

Yikes! It even feels dirty when I type it.

Let’s face it.

I know society has changed. Women are all strong, more than capable people, that can leap taller buildings in a single bound, than their male counterparts. Blah-Blah I get it!

But we guys know, we want a girl, maybe even a girly girl. Someone sweet, someone to hold us, someone to hold our kids. Rub our backs, occasionally. We watch them kiss the kids on their snotty little noses when they bump it against something. We even like when they kiss our emotional boo boo’s, after we lost our mens-league basketball game, long after we should have stopped playing. Oh yeah, and EVEN GIVE YOU AN ORGAN. Tell us it’ll be ok, ALWAYS…..even when it won’t. That’s a woman! That’s why we love them, and that’s why we want to marry them.

So you must ask yourself. Will she give me her kidney? Ask it honestly, ask it deeply, ask it Reasonably!

It’s a Reasonable Question, with a Reasonable Meaning Behind it.

A Final Word

This is not a selfish act or question. You aren’t doing this because you have some sick need to live forever, especially at the cost of your wife potentially risking her life for you. That just makes you sick, to even consider!

I don’t like divorce. But I’m not naive. I know it happens, I’m a child of divorced parents. When I learn why some people divorced. It is glaringly obvious to me that IF THERE WERE ONE QUESTION that could have been asked, and truly evaluated, maybe the marriage could have not happened to begin with. Maybe the marriage could have survived divorce, or possibly some healthy discussion could have taken place to put both people, in a very HEALTHY and HAPPY and most importantly CLEAR space.

Maybe it’s because I’m on the outside looking in. It’s all about perspective. Sometimes we must change our perspective, to gain more perspective.

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Related Post for Women:

Women’s Question to Ask Before She Marry’s Him

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