What has having a brain tumor taught me?
Life is short…#expectedright. WHATEVER.
My TUMOR is so special to me that I had to write a post about it…
Nah, having a tumor has shown me that I needed to just get shit done that I wanted to.
Being faced with your mortality is one of the purest things we all need to experience to aid us in gaining TRUE PERSPECTIVE. When you are threatened with ANYTHING that shows you as mortal or vulnerable you’ll know exactly what you need to do at that moment, and moving forward.
Sort of like owning a gun. You may be the most anti-gun person on the face of the earth. BUT…IF without a shadow of a doubt, were about to be hurt, attacked or worse, you’d want to have, and be quick to use a gun.
That says nothing about you as a person, but everything about you as the ANIMAL (human) you are. If you have children, consider what you’d do if some stranger tried to take or physically (and intentionally) hurt one of your small children. You’d CLAW THEIR EYES OUT, right?
You’d NEVER advocate violence, and neither would I. But, we are SICK DISGUSTING ANIMALS at the end of the day, and we’d protect ourselves and the ones we love at almost ALL COSTS.
I stand at the podium at the head of the room and declare, “Hello I’m Justin, and I’m an ANIMAL”
“High Justin!”, the room responds!
I don’t mind this.
So I’ve got this tumor, a pituitary tumor. I’ve had several transsphenoidal hypophysectomies to remove the thing. Man, this thing is annoying. Good thing it’s not cancerous. I like that part. It’s landed me in the ICU 4 times so far, and I’ve got more trips coming in the future.
See, this dumb thing is somewhat wrapped around my damn optic nerve, and it’s squeezing it. So because it’s that close to such an important piece of my EYESIGHT. The surgeons have a difficult time removing the ENTIRE TUMOR. So what does, Andy (yeah let’s call him Andy, Andy the Adenoma) do, he keeps growing back, the bastid!
I’m fortunate, and I know it. I’m still here, and I have 3 kids. NICE, sweet! WHATEVER – I’m going to be real about all of that. SO THE F*** WHAT.
I wanna skydive, I haven’t. I wanna travel, I haven’t. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna…you get the point. This tumor has given me perspective on life, the UNKNOWN amount of time I have in this life, and I’m faced with the laundry list of things I HAVE NOT DONE!
#mortality = finite amount of time.
I have 3 kids. YAY – WHAT DOES THAT GET ME?
I know some of your nihilists will say, isn’t that worth something. You should be grateful, thankful, be happy with that. F*** OFF. How does that get me to Egypt to see the SPHINX? Unless those little crumb snatching kids invent something as minors that makes us ALL TONS OF LOOT and gives us the freedom to travel, I’ve gotta figure out a way to get to Egypt, or wherever the hell the SPHINX is….
Things can be separate, and they should be. I am grateful for my kids, but it sucks that I have a tumor and every 4-8 years I have to let surgeons poke and slice around my brain, and each time I MAY NOT WAKE UP.
GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BE HAPPY AND THANKFUL AND CONTENT CRAP.
Moment to moment I get it. But, if you aren’t willing to trade places with someone you KNOW has it worse than you, you obviously have perspective and a good perspective. You know that some situations are WORSE than others.
Giving people the flexibility to say what they hate, or say that they aren’t satisfied is ok.
FACE YOUR FEARS LIKE I FACE MY TUMOR
Don’t WALLOW in sorrow over your situation – I’m not.
DO NOT STOP LIVING just cuz a few good things have happened in your life.
CONTENTMENT is for the DEAD.
Seek your happiness whatever that may be for you, not what other people TELL YOU, “You should be happy” with.
ReasonableDose Rant OVER. I kind of went off a bit here…hahaha.