Before you get serious with Him, you should ask yourself ONE QUESTION……And you REALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS
I have, a sister, a sister-in-law, lot’s of my cousins are girls, AND 2 DAUGHTERS – GOOD GRIEF!!! I wanted to find out the BEST question for the women in my life to ask, about the men they are, will, or have ceased a relationship with. WHAT is that question? And, WHY would I want them to ask that question. Here’s the story, I guess this is how it usually goes…….
You started as strangers. Now you’ve become friendly. You now talk to each other more than just a few times a week. Often you two go out on “dates”, this is expected on your part and his. As time ticks by you begin to wonder, more frequently, who he’s with or what he’s doing when he’s not with you. The bond between you, is growing everyday.
I’ve been married for 9 years at the time of this post. I’ve seen some things, not everything, but this question is 1 that I feel is the most important question for a woman have the answer to. What is the simplest thing you can examine to see if you should continue to pursue this “relationship”, and do your part to help it grow? What is the one thing a woman should ask herself BEFORE she starts to wonder, “Where this relationship is going?”
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. How you FEEL about he answer to the question is what matters.There are obvious questions you should have a decent idea about before you ask THE question.
- Will this man I’m talking to cheat on me? That should be NO.
- Will he hit you? That better be NO.
- Will he tear you down emotionally and mentally? NO and NO!
- Will he live under your roof and eat food you provide without pitching in at all? What – he’d better not!
- Will he ask you for gas money, and never pay it back? HOPEFULLY NO!
Then I think you can move on to THE question.
If you haven’t asked yourself those OBVIOUS RED FLAG questions, you should. If you answered any of those questions as YES or NOT SURE, we may need a blog post devoted to you on another topic. You don’t deserve any of that. But, I digress…..
THE QUESTION YOU MUST ASK……
DO NOT ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND THIS QUESTION. You must ask YOURSELF this question. You ALONE must answer this question.
Will this man kill for me? Maybe another way. Will this man die for me?
Don’t go find yourself a cold-blooded killer to marry. That’s not what I mean. I’ll try to be a bit more clear.
Will this man kill for me?
He’s not a killer. He hasn’t killed anyone. You just have to ask yourself, IF he ever was in a position, where he had no other choice, and there was no other way out, would this man do whatever was necessary to ensure your safety? Even if that means taking a life.
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. It is only your duty to have the ANSWER, and know what you FEEL about the answer.
- You may be mortified, to think that the man you are with could be able to take another persons life. In your mind, you see no reasons where a person should ever take a life. Fair enough. Maybe he’s not the guy for you.
- You might not like the idea of your future husband doing something so awful, but you would understand if he was a man who did what needed to be done.
- Lastly, you could be elated at the fact that you have a man who would protect you at all costs. Your safety and well-being are at the forefront for him and you find that comforting.
Will this man die for me?
It’s a question that’s larger than death, in it’s most simple form. This question is more about self-sacrifice, selflessness, and knowing that he cares more for you than he does for himself.. Would he jump in front of a bullet, a train, or an angry sumo wrestler, if he knew you were in harm’s way? Do you feel his decisions are based in selfishness or selflessness? Knowing and accepting that he will die for you is his reality. How would you feel about being with a man like that?
- Does it upset you, that he’d die for you?
- Do you feel like he’s worked hard, has a lot to offer the world and should go and live on?
- Do you feel comfort knowing that your future husband would risk his life, in the attempt of saving yours?
Based on your answer to this question, you’ll have your answer on if you should move forward in your almost relationship. Maybe you have decided to take that “good friend relationship”, and grow it to something more. Maybe that acquaintance with some romantic interests, should remain in the friend zone.
Let’s face it.
Reasonably speaking, Men are “generally” more protective in a relationship. We typically want to see our women safe, protected, and defended. There are a lot of men that would without hesitation, attempt eliminate any threat, to the woman they are with. He ultimately knows, in his heart, that he is responsible for her safety. She may be a bit bigger than he is, a better athlete, possibly a trained fighter, but men and women are wired differently. Generally speaking.
My Position…
I know a lot of women end up with a guy that does not fit what she pictured. I think this is more about women making the right read in the earliest stages of a budding relationship. Understanding what their men ARE, and not what they WANT them to be, are the most important sanity checks a woman can do.
When you find out what the man truly IS, based on your answer to THE question above. You can then evaluate your values, against what HE IS and what you want in a man. Women are incredibly smart and perceptive. Taking your time, in the beginning, is key to recognizing what will be successful for you.
Ask yourself these questions, whether you are in a budding relationship, or one that’s been going on for a time. You’ll learn some things about yourself. Hopefully, you’ll look back and pat yourself on the back, for the decisions you made.
This is by no means the only way to gauge your man’s worthiness, but it’s a big one.
A Final Word
I do not think the desire to protect his woman, to the end (whatever that means) makes that man a chauvinist, trapped in the past, old-school or too traditional. That’s an unreasonable charge. I think it makes him a man. An Admirable one at that.
If you are fortunate enough to have a standup guy that would protect you, to the end, maybe you should count that as a blessing. It’s no different from being a fire fighter, police officer, or a member of the President’s secret service detail. You know what you may have to do, you don’t ever want to be faced with making that choice, but in the end, you know exactly what you’d do if you ever found yourself in that horrible situation.
What do you think Team Reason? I think this is a good place for women to start when finding Mr. Right. Please let me know what you think in the comments below.
